In the mansion in western Valinor...

Some thoughts on snow :)

2011-01-23T13:01:00.000-08:00

...It snowed, beautiful white sparkly snow, the kind that sends a shiver of delight down your spine and chill of anticipation through your soul. And here I am. In the city. In a house with a dear old lady. On a street full of houses and cars. In a neighborhood full of busy people. In a town full of slushy brown slippery streets, and mountains of salty brown grime piled every way you look. There is something about that snow that loses its glory here, that bit of creation I long for and cannot find, ruined here in man's manufactured “bliss”, and they don't even know what they are missing out on. I want so badly to go out to the farm, the land I know as my home. I want to step out of life for a moment, take a walk in the trees, and listen to them whisper deep secrets to one another, secrets that float above the glistening whiteness far and near. Secrets so soft, so quiet, and so precious they entirely drown out he drone of life and stress around. God made those trees, and they speak of His glory. He crafted the shine and glass of a snowflake, intricately designed, with no two alike...then in a moment, the abyss above our ignorant heads is filled with His handiwork, so fine no one of us could ever come near to imitating it. In the silence, the snow floats and twirls its way down to the quiet earth, where it lays. And hour upon hour go by, as layer upon layer build up to a blanket of down so soft and comforting that you can't help but be at peace, yet with a chilling invitation to come and play and be stirred. I love snow! Out in that bliss, with the world on hold, God is near. In His creation, amidst the whispers of His trees, above that blanket of perfect craftsmanship, His presence is strong...and I am with Him. Oh, how I long for that again!!!

Movie...Movie...and Movie =)

2010-07-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

The title of this blog post pretty well sums up my life as of now =D We, that is myself and a few siblings and friends, are hard at work on our next lego brick stop-motion film. Take a look at the website if you are interested, we would love you have you pay a visit! Film-making certainly is not as easy as I imagined...and we are only learning enough to know that we really know nothing about how this all works! Talk about an excellent chance to practice growing in grace and patience!! The various aspects of the project certainly keep it from getting boring in ANY sense of the word.

Ah...and a fun little note, I will be starting nursing school in August this year!!! Praise God for His provision, and opening the doors for me to pursue this.

http://monitogostudios.com/

When God says...

2010-03-19T18:02:00.000-07:00

When God says He is taking care of you...He really means it.
When God says He will never leave your side...He never does.
When God says that He will give us peace...We really get it.
When God says that when we seek Him, we will find Him...he's not kidding.
When God says no...I'm pretty sure that means NO.
When He says to trust Him...He's right, we have no reason to fear.
And when He says, everything is taken care of...Don't doubt Him.
When God says to love Him...please do...we are so unworthy to have a love like this.
When God says we are safe in His arms...Don't worry.
When God says He loves us...never hesitate to think otherwise...He does.
When He says to obey Him...just do it.
When He says to go forth and make disciples of all nations...by all means Run and do it!
When God says the end is near...our time is short, dont waste it.
When God says life will be hard at times, and we will be broken, shaken, and scared...Dont run away...He still gonna carry you through it all...He WILL catch you when you fall.
When God says He's working...watch for it...look around.
When God says we are to work together...He's right...we are the Body of Christ.
When He said we are forgiven...it true. We are forever clean and pure!
When God speaks...we listen.
When He said He would make a way...He did, He died...and now we are given LIFE.
So when He says it...He really means it.
When GOD says "It is finished"...It Is.

From a dear friend on FB.

Captured By Grace

2010-03-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

I am reading a wonderful titled "Captured By Grace"...if you ever pick it up, be prepared for brain work and heart exercise. In this chapter, the author writes about the difference between mercy and grace. Mercy is "God witholding the punishment we rightfully deserve" while grace is "God not only witholding that punishment but offering the most precious gifts instead."

Think for just a moment...Mercy kept the knife from the heart of Isaac, while grace provided the ram in the thicket...mercy hears the cry of the brokenhearted thief on cross but grace promised him paradise that very day...mercy closes the door to hell while grace opens the door to heaven.

That my dear friends, is a beautiful thought. That I, as a child of God, have not only received mercy, which I do NOT deserve, but further still the Lord God has promised me heaven and His presence!!! I am blessed, truly beyond measure.

"After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be dominion forever and ever. Amen" 1 Peter 5:10-11

Sandman Comes My Way

2010-01-17T12:15:00.000-08:00

This is was written by a young man who is the son of Missionaries in Haiti. This poem is his depiction of the earthquake that happened this past week, and the effects it has/is having/will have.

Hello sandman
A visit paid by the grains of time
Erases past present and future
Blink of eyes becomes mayhem
Sand man nods his head
These walls are coming down
These ceilings caving in
This world is sinking down
As we realize what were in
Death zone
And the cries of the trapped saturate the skies
As we wonder who we really are
Survivor’s guilt
Or mere thankfulness
Yet scarring images fill our minds
Our world collapses
Ground gives way like quick sand
A man from the blacker land
The sandman
Reeking havoc midst the tears and fears
Grimly grins at the helpless
Who ponder nonexistent lives
Of the crumbling
And tumbling
Lives and homes
Shaking ground
Like jell legs
Destroys all balance
Sandman fills the ground
Waves of death
Waves of pain
Waves of insecurity
Sent by the unknown and unheard
Whether natural or not
It matters none
For the remains smolder with sand
Starvation leads to innovation
New breeds of anarchy are unleashed
Sandman smiles
Lack of unity brings hate and fear
In the wake of tragedy
In the face of jeopardy
Can lives be rebuilt?
Can souls be reformed?
Can homes be rebuilt?
And families reformed
Or shall the after be a new
Is there a lesson here?
Midst all that’s ravenously askew
As these arms reach the skies
Ignoring the sandman’s shrieks
Will the heavens descend?
Or will we return to the old
And kill the spark of dependency
Lit on a God who gives and takes
Oh the hellish tragedy
Loves ripped asunder
Yet mend able
Through the grace of a father with tears
For a bruised child with fears
In the crumbling night
Is there a lesson here?
Will we recognize?
Or make like a corpse
And simply lay down to die
Through return to the past
Dancing by the light of the burning pyres
Flames of doubt and confusion
And no hope that will last
But this warning is true
Ignore the sandman
He will not last
Let go the pain
It will not last
In Christ is there new life
Remaining to be found
In the shattered remains
Of you...

I am slightly behind...

2009-12-21T16:18:00.000-08:00

...but have good reason for being as such :)

God has blessed me with many things to be filling my time, following His direction for my life. It's quite exciting really. For anyone who is interested, here is a bit of what has occupied my time:
College - beginning nursing school to fulfill God's call to medical missions
Family - general things at home, and working on the next lego stop-motion film with my family
Church - helped with a church retreat, and working with Dad to organize a group of young adults up here to spend time fellowshipping, challenging each other, and doing ministry together

So, what to write about...I could write about any of the above, but that's not the most important thing happening in my life. The most important thing would have to be the focus that God has begun to give me. For a long time, I have filled my life with things I wanted to pursue, things I wanted to get, my own pursuits almost entirely. But lately, I have been reading about how God wants us to spend our lives: following Him in EVERYTHING, not just on Sunday, not just for a few hours a week. It's not enough to serve Him when it's convenient. It's not enough to serve Him when I feel like it. He has called me to abandon my life to Him. And I have begun to understand that in a whole new way. I have begun to understand that following His calling and abandoning my own is fulfilling, and because it is His vision, it is successful and He gets all the glory.

I'm not there, I'm not all the way in His will because my flesh fights it again and again, but I am so joyful at the work that He is doing. I am very excited to see how He will continue to work through me in the days to come!!

Ah, and another little thing He's been working on...rather BIG thing? Tearing off another layer of my pride. It hurts, wow it hurts. But I know it's worth it.

And with that, my dear friends, I will have to take my leave...but I will do my best to write again soon :)

Gratefulness

2009-07-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through my old Bible Study notebook this last week, and found some wonderful topical studies. One that stood out was a study on gratefulness. The very beginning of the study began with a comparison of pride and gratefulness, which seemed a little odd, until I read the definitions:

Gratefulness: communicating to others the precise way in which they have benefited my life, and looking for ways to honor them.
Pride: Believing that I have achieved what God and others have done for me and through me.
1 Corinthians 4:7 "For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?
The key to gratefulness being a realization our how indebted we are to God...how deserving of nothing but eternal judgment...how we can only be grateful for the ways in which God and others benefit us. Redirecting praise is something that we often fail to do, but is key to gratefulness and keeping the pride of self-accomplishment at bay.

Following that initial comparison, was a list of specific recipients of our gratefulness: God, parents, family, your conscience, church elders, civil authorities, employer, true friends. After each recipient was a list of specific ways to give thanks and be grateful for them. Some of the challenging ones really stood out to me though.

~ Give thanks for the hardships in life.
~ When you feel as though you have nothing to be thankful for, give thanks anyway.
~ When others give you praise, redirect it to whom it is due.
~ Be grateful for correction from others.

I find it easy to give thanks when I am blessed with good health, good food, a peaceful family, sufficient finances, extra blessings, etc. But when those things start to dissappear, I find myself turning inward to focus on my "suffering." I'd like to challenge you to join me in taking some extra time to just be grateful. To turn to the One to whom all credit is due. And the next time hardship comes, when you don't feel like giving thanks, join me in searching out God's blessings and learning to have a true heart of gratefulness and thanksgiving!!

Psalm 69:30 "I will praise the name of God with song and magnify Him with Thanksgiving."

My Dad - A Man of God

2009-06-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

is too much of a blessing, encouragement, role model, mentor, friend, protector, etc. for me to be able to accurately put into words what he means to me. But I would like to list some scripture verses that accurately portray this man of God, whom I am honored to call my Father!!

Deuteronomy 6:5-7
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
My Dad does love the Lord, with ALL his heart, soul, and might. A clear evidence of that is his passion to teach the word of God, and his diligence in doing so. For many years he has had a heart to teach, and does an excellent job doing so!!! He has the opportunity to teach in his work, his church, and most important to me, a part of his family. As long as I can remember, Daddy has taught the Scripture in our home. In formal Bible studies, through history, at dinner table conversations, while working together outside, even while trudging through deep woods full of mosquitoes on an orienteering course. His love for scripture, as evidenced by his actions, has left a deep impression on my heart about the value of God's Word!!

1 Thessalonians 2:11-12
"Just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."
Another thing that my Daddy does is exhort, encourage and implore me to walk worthy of my King, of my God!! He has never been one to nag or hang it over my head as a guilt trip, but he is ever diligent to teach me the character of God, His attributes, and standards for a Christian walk. He is not afraid to sit me down and share concerns about character flaws in my life. As a good father should, when I have heard a warning or concern but have taken no action, he is humble yet firm enough to come alongside and say "I am going to set some tighter parameters now, and help you conquer this character flaw." He provides the guidance, discipline and encouragement to help mold my character and life into a vessel that will glorify God to a greater degree.

John 12:26
"If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him."
My Daddy does serves God. As his daughter, living in the same home, I have seen many sides of Daddy's character. The good as well as the bad. But one thing that has never changed is that at the end of every trial, and in the face of every struggle, he goes back to His life's source: God. He turns to Him for answers to questions, for comfort in times of need, for standards to guide his life, and ultimately in humble submission and acceptance of His gift of salvation. He is a walking testimony of a man whose life honors the Lord.

Proverbs 3:11-12
"My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord, or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights."
Proverbs 3:24
"He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently."
My Daddy loves me. He delights in me. And as a responsible and loving Father should, he disciplines me. Over the years the form of discipline has changed, I have outgrown the oak paddle, picking up rocks and scrubbing the bathtub mat. But I have not outgrown a stern look, a looooong lecture, a canceled fun event, voicing his disappointment at my failure to follow and obey, and a gentle hug to show his concern when I am broken and humbled. He has been faithful, yes even vigilant, to see that I have learned Biblical standards for right and wrong. Not only seen, but enforced when necessary. I would lie to say that his discipline has been my favorite part of our relationship, but I am honest to say that I appreciate his doing so. He has instilled truth in me. He has instilled godliness in me. He has loved me. For that, I am ever grateful!

Proverbs 20:7
"A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out. Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man? A righteous man walks in his integrity - how blessed are his sons after him."
I love the part about a man of understanding drawing out the plan of a deep heart. I, like my Daddy, think and feel very deeply. In many ways, I am like him. I am, truly, My Father's Daughter. But he is a man of understanding. Beyond just how my little head ticks, he has a wealth of understanding about God, truth, life, feelings, etc. Because he is a man of understanding, he is capable of gently and patiently drawing the plans, hopes, dreams, and emotions out of my deep heart. He helps me see things about myself that I otherwise never would, and understand how God is working in my life in ways to which I have been blind. As a father, and as a friend, he is loyal to me, and trustworthy. He walks a life of integrity, and I AM blessed to walk after him!

1 Corinthians 11:3
"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a women, and God is the head of Christ."
There are a couple things that Daddy lives out from this verse. Christ is indeed the head of my Daddy. And He willingly admits to and lives the fact. Not only this, but he is the head of a woman: my Mom. He has accepted and now faithfully carries the responsibility of being a husband and father. Before the Lord, he will be accountable for all of us! (I'm glad I'm not a man!) But he has taken it, and is faithful to do as he understands is the Lord's will to lead, teach, nurture, and love us. He is the head of one woman, only one woman. The woman he has loved, and has always been faithful to. What an example of a godly man!!

A few other things that I just wanted to mention...he has laid down a a worldly prominent, financially successful career to follow the Lord's path for his life and family...he has invested COUNTLESS hours in my life to show support of my many and varied interests and talents...he has gone far outside his comfort zone to accompany my siblings and I on varied grand adventures to ensure we were safe...he has been willing to be a broken tool to serve, lift up, encourage, and hold accountable other people in his life, then to see God take his efforts and multiply them to a spouse, a family, now adopted family members, a jail ministry, a city, and now an entire state...he has spent many more countless hours up at late hours of the night, and early hours of the morning to listen as I poured out every crisis in life...he has taken the effort to send me e-mails, letters and phone calls just to say he thinking of me, and loves me...he has guarded my life and purity jealously, before I was old enough to understand the value of his actions...I could fill a book about my Daddy.

His life is casting a shadow, long and stark, that has touched the lives of many. I am honored to walk behind him in the shade and protection he gives, learning to shape my shadow to look like his.

Happy Father's Day to my Daddy, a Man of God!!

The Most Delightful Young Adults

2009-06-15T14:05:00.000-07:00

It amazes me how quickly time seems to pass. I remember the long past days of childhood (adults, you can laugh if you want to...it was only half my life ago :D) The days that dragged on forever...in which my biggest concern was to wake up and do my school and chores without getting a spanking...and the life's biggest choice involved determining how I would spend those many empty hours in my afternoon. But some things happen with time, in particular, people grow up. My siblings grow much to fast! Just this past weekend we graduated my next younger sister from High School, my next younger brother had his Eagle Scout Court of Honor, and my second younger brother had his 13 year right of passage. They are not little children any more, and I am honored to say they are growing into some of the most delightful young adults you will ever meet!!

My next younger sister is a delightful young lady! I have had the honor of being her second home school teacher for the past two years, and it has been a joy and an honor. She is an easy student, and a joy to work with. Unlike some of her siblings, she has had to work very hard to learn well and I am SO proud to say that she graduated high school with a high A average. She applied herself to her studies, and did excellent work. What a tribute to her character! Her studies were much broader than a traditional education entails, and her mind has been sharped by careful application to her school. She is bright and talented in so many ways. My sister is a beautiful young lady. Not only of face, but of heart. The beauty of her heart radiates from within, and can be seen by everyone around her. It gives her face a delicate glow that no one can ignore. Her gentleness and kindness wins hearts of adults and children alike, and continues to multiply itself as she lets God work in her life. I can hardly believe how time has flown, she is no longer a little girl. Having passed a tremendous milestone in her life there is the rest of her yet ahead...and I am anxious to see how the Lord will guide her steps as she goes forward.

Ah...my next younger brother...who is now taller than I. Despite being several years younger, he is several inches taller. The fascinating thing about his height, is that it is not just physical. For a 15 year old young man, his character and maturity far surpass his age. And in some ways, I feel as though he surpasses me as well. His work ethic, diligence, perseverance, integrity and leadership are tremendous. At 15, it has been many months since he concluded his work to gain the rank of Eagle Scout. The paperwork was slow in being processed, but finally came back. At 15, he is certainly not the oldest scout in his troop, but is currently in his second term as Senior Patrol Leader, the highest youth leadership position in the troop. He has been in leadership positions since 13, and is one the most well liked and definitely most admired young men in the troop. As his sister, I am blessed to have him as my brother. Despite the gap in years, he and I are very good friends. It is so encouraging to be able to try and copy him in the character that he has that surpasses me. God will do great things with this young man, my brother!!

My second younger brother...growing like a weed. And learning like one too. He is sharp and learns incredibly fast, well above his age and grade level. As he is just beginning his walk into adulthood, there is much that lies before him to be learned, conquered, treasured. As his older sister, I am honored to be able to watch him as he goes forward. It will be exciting to see how the Lord will continue to shape and mold him in the years to come.

There will be pictures here

S.B. 291

2009-05-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

Wednesday evening, we received an urgent request by HSLDA to participate in an emergency rally in Jefferson City, to recognize some potentially harmful language that had JUST been discovered in S.B. 291, a major education bill. This rally was to communicate to our elected officials our notice of, and concern over the language, and our desire that it be amended or the bill to fail...a tremendous crowd of home schoolers descended on the capitol yesterday, and this message was relayed loud and clear. Below is a summary of what took place with S.B. 291:

What happened...the senate introduced and approved bill 291, a major public education bill. Three days ago, it reached the house floor and was voted down. Session ends today, so in an attempt to pass ONE major education bill this session, the bill went back to committee to be re-written (in a hurry). They revised it, but in the course of the revision there was new wording that was vague, and potentially dangerous to home-schoolers.

In a clause that dealt with encouraging students to stay in school, the compulsory attendance law was going to be changed "This act also changes the requirement for compulsory attendance age for school districts, except for the St. Louis City School District. Current law defines the compulsory attendance age as sixteen. This act changes that to successful completion of sixteen credits toward high school graduation." Where this presented a problem, is that there was no legal definition for a home school credit. This left the potential of defining this "credit" to the state, leaving the possibility that students remain caught under compulsory attendance laws well past the age of 16.

Once they caught this language, several representatives got together to WRITE an amendment that would clarify the vague wording. What this did was DEFINE what a credit is for home schoolers, instead of leaving this power open to being in the hands of the state. In the state of Missouri, compulsory education attendance is reached by achieving a set number of credits. As the MO law stands, home schoolers have required minimum hours but compulsory attendance is not based on credits. The bill was passed, with the wording that requires "sixteen credits towards high school graduation." The amendment that was written and passed is what retains our freedom. In the amendment, the representatives (and our FHE home school lobbyist with the help of an attorney who is a former elected official and a home school dad) established a definition that says that for home schoolers, a credit equals 100 hours. "HA 2 - FOR HOME SCHOOLS, A COMPLETED CREDIT TOWARDS HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION WILL BE DEFINED AS ONE HUNDRED HOURS OR MORE OF INSTRUCTION IN A COURSE. HOME SCHOOL EDUCATION ENFORCEMENT AND RECORDS WILL BE SUBJECT TO REVIEW ONLY BY THE LOCAL PROSECUTING ATTORNEY." For a home schooler to be exempt from the compulsory attendance law, they must reach 1600 hours. In addition, some extra language was added to clarify that legal permission to examine home school records is granted solely to the home schooler's local presecuting attorney. The local officials can no longer require a show of records to prove home schooling is taking place. They have never HAD this right, but frequently claim it. With the new wording, it is clearly against the law for such action to take place.

Yesterday ended up being a good day for Missouri homeschoolers, because not only did we get some good legislation passed, we also sent a strong reminder to the Missouri State Government that we are serious about our freedoms, we will mobilize, and we can do all of this with almost no warning.

As one of the homeschool lobbyists said, "You've made my job easier for the next ten years."

Diligence reaps its rewards

2009-05-12T14:02:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I really wonder at why diligence is important...and then quickly remember that scripture calls us to diligence. I have to admit, at the end of a project, it is gratifying to look at the final result and be satisfied that all the hours and effort were worth it.

My younger brother Gregory and I have been working on a lego short for the past few weeks, as a response to Gideon Production Group's call for animators. This short was submitted as the first stage of our audition. Here is the short, for those who may be interested in watching it.

I know it seems small, at 3:08, but the hours and labor that went into were large...and I have to admit that by the end, I was ready to be done putting clouds into kitty/tree pictures. But looking back, I see that the diligence required to fit this around the rest of life was well worth it!

In Which I Complete My Thoughts of 3 Weeks Ago...

2009-05-08T11:31:00.000-07:00

"When my life purpose is truly to glorify God, then He can bring blessings, trials, people, etc. all through my life and I can continue on just as before. When my purpose is to glorify Him, and I trust in His work, I can be content that where He has me is the place most glorifying to Him."

That quote would be an accurate summation of some of my recent thoughts. I says thoughts plural, due to the fact that they have been many and varied, yet I have come to the conclusion that they all fit together to form a single, complete, and sobering thought. Namely, the one given above.

Perhaps you are curious as to what these thoughts must have been? They include some of the following: “I am discontent with where I am in life.” “Life's purpose is to glorify God.” “God is God. I ought to stop trying to be.” “When our focus is on glorifying God, we can be content with any challenge God brings our way.” I think you will now have to agree with me that they are varied. Let me try to explain how these things work together.

-------------------------------

I find a disturbing but nonetheless frequent trend of discontentment with my present circumstances. It is not rising primarily from a great dislike for where I am, or what I am doing, but rather an attitude that looks too far and too eagerly forward in life. I find my focus turned to myself or fulfillment of myself through serving others. By default, when the focus is turned to myself it is not where it rightly belongs: on God. This direction of focus is not only wrong but it denies my purpose in life: to glorify God. This purpose requires an increase of trust as I die to myself, and let God be God! The result of this change of purpose is truly freeing, and worth every bit of the sacrifice.

Paul exhorts us in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.” My selfish desires can leave me feeling as if I am lacking, as if there is yet more to be desired. But Paul encourages me to be content with the food and clothes. I tend to think that the bare necessities ought to include far more. I read in Philippians 4:11-13, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Paul takes no easy way around the issue here, and clearly states that we are called to be content in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. With whatever provisions we have. I find it fascinating that directly following his exhortation, Paul reaffirms his own weakness and struggle in this very area by stating that it is Christ who gives him the strength! As weak as I am, I can easily understand from where his necessity for reliance comes.

Contrary to Paul's exhortation I find myself often thinking that there must be something waiting for me in the future, something that has yet to happen, something that I am missing. At times I have even found myself coveting what another who has gone before me, has gained. It seems as if my present circumstances are not good enough for what I desire. Galatians 6:8 carries a stern warning, “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” A second warning comes from Solomon, a man who lived life to the fullest in terms of material possession and physical desire. He fulfilled his desire to the utmost, and yet at the end had only this to say, in Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” He is right. There is no fulfillment in following my own selfish desire, only despair and death. It is easy for me to see how my focus turns to myself. I have found that I sometimes even justify my actions by masking it with actions that serve others. Behind the mask of service, is a root of pride seeking fulfillment by my deeds. All of this focus, however, is misplaced. It rightly belongs on God. Galatians 5:16 tells us “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets our desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.” Herein lies the challenge: when the focus rests on myself, it is in opposition to God. When it is on God, it is against me and I do not do the things I please.

The need to turn the focus back to God rests on an understanding of life's purpose: to glorify God. When He created me it was not out of a need. There is no way that He depends on me or that He relies on me. I am here to glorify Him. I see it in Isaiah 43:7 “Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for my glory, whom I have formed, even whom I have made.” And again in 1 Peter 4:11 “Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God my be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever, Amen.” These verses do not leave room for my selfish ambitions, nor do they allow me to take the glory. Understanding my purpose gives me a direction to channel my efforts, and a reason to continue on when things go wrong and bring me no recognition, or even failure. My efforts, even when difficult or requiring great sacrifice, become worthwhile for the knowledge that they are not for me. I read in Philippians 3:7 “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.”

This purpose in life is a blessing, but presents a whole new challenge: how to bring about death to self. In a pursuit to glorify God, I cannot also glorify myself. The pride within me that seeks recognition, gratitude, success, material goods, must be buried. I must learn to let go of that which drives me, that which give me self-satisfaction, that which brings me self-confidence. To let go of all this leaves me in a vulnerable position and according to the world, weak. I find that I must always have something in which to place my trust, and when I have removed myself from that position, God is ready, able and willing to fill it. Philippians 4:19-20 “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in in Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” The ironic thing about this is that any trust I place in myself is worthless...trust cannot be based on wavering inconsistent sin. Trust can really, truly, only be placed in God. He alone is never changing and worthy of my trust. Galatians 2:20 tells about this change of trust, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” The most challenging part of this transition is to completely let go. I find it easy to trust God for some things, and rely on myself for the rest. But this cannot be. I have to let God be God, and do what He alone can do. I love Isaiah 64:4 “For from says of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, nor has eye seen a God besides You, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.” Truly, this is so.

When I allow God to humble my pride, when I surrender my needs, when I turn my focus upward and allow myself to stay in the resulting vulnerable hard place, there comes a drastic heart change that is called trust. When I turn the focus away from myself, it is free to then be turned towards God. When I seek to glorify God, I will not glorify myself, and He will be glorified. The vulnerability that comes with trust is the greatest advantage to me. It allows me to be anywhere that God chooses to lead me even though it be outside my comfort zone, thoughts and desires, and my plan. It allows me to be WHEREVER God leads me. When I know that God is leading, I can go forward without fear or apprehension because nowhere can I be beyond His care and guidance. When my focus is on God and I have left behind my will, I can then be stretched, challenged, even hurt, but still continue on in the power that is so much greater than my own. Philippians 4:6-7 is beautifully reassuring, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Perhaps in all of that, you can see how the many thoughts do indeed tie together. I have such a difficult time getting my thoughts onto paper, so I understand if you cannot follow what I have said. I hope and pray that it is of some encouragement to you, that perhaps you have been challenged or lifted up.

Barefoot in the woods...and photos

2009-04-30T19:31:00.000-07:00

Yes...I did walk barefoot in the woods. And we took some photos. But I moved that post: to here :)

Coming to theaters!!!

2009-04-07T21:53:00.000-07:00

60 Second Trailer Spot, Widow's Might from John Moore on Vimeo.

Who Am I?

2009-03-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

I am sitting here trying to write, but I cannot see for the tears streaming down my face...yes,moved to tears...by the truth of this song. Because I am fading, tossed about, a vapor, falling and failing. Yes He hears, and He holds me. But I am nothing. And He? EVERYTHING! To think that He overlooks my failure and sin and loves me simply overwhelms me...to fall in love with the One who loves you is like nothing else in all time! It is glorious!!!

Success!!

2009-03-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

I am working on sewing several costume pieces for an upcoming stage version of Sense and Sensibility, in which my brother is to play Colonel Brandon. I have to admit, I was quite intimidated when I received the frock/morning coat pattern, as the garment construction from the Regency era is quite different from that of today. The seams do not lie across the top of the shoulder and straight down the side, but rather diagonally across and behind the shoulder, and front panels curve around the side, to attach in a curve to the narrow back panels. This ensures a well fitted garment. (Which, in my opinion, is a brilliant idea!) I had one frock coat and one morning coat to sew. The frock coat is a cutaway style, double-breasted. The Morning coat is a a curved front style, single breasted with small lapels. Both required alterations on the original pattern. This proved to be a challenge, since altering the garment was completely different due to construction technique. But I have been successful, and the coats are coming together (despite skimpy directions that leave out half the steps...yay for google and fellow costumers online construction journals!) I must admit, the three people I am sewing for will look quite smashing! But the guys are going to roast alive! I will post pictures of everything when I am done...I didn't realize what I'd gotten myself into when I agreed to sew three dresses, two pairs of breeches, four waistcoats, two shirts, two frock coats, hand bags, cravats, and 135 buttonholes...It's fun though!!

Times do change...

2009-03-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

This excerpt is from a 1903 issue of "Athletics and Outdoor Sports for Women"...and while it may bore some of you, I thought attention to detail, practicality, and modesty was quite fascinating.

Equestrianism

"A great deal has been said and written in regard to the correct dress for the saddle, yet how many women know and practice its two most important laws?-first, to dress plainly and comfortable; second, to look well.

The habit must be well made, well fitted, of correct style, and of best material. Safety skirts should always be worn. There are several different patents for these. One is practically an apron, which on the saddle gives the effect of a skirt; there is no back to it, and the legs are perfectly free and in direct contact with the saddle. This is a very good and safe pattern for hunting and country use, but is most awkward when the rider is dismounted. Another is more like the ordinary habit skirt but with an open seam back of the legs and up around the pommel; this is provided with patent fasteners, permitting it to be closed when the wearer is off the horse, and readily opened predatory to mounting.

The regulation habit is well fitted, single-breasted, with five or six buttons, and made long enough to touch the horse in back. Last spring a single-breasted, long, and somewhat loose coast with a fly front became very popular. Either of these is a sensible style to order…

Covert coats should be made big, and are very smart for outdoor riding. Norfolk jackets look well on slight women and children, and are very comfortable for country use. The heavier cloth you select for the habit, the better it will fit and wear and the longer keep its shape. Whipcords and dark materials are preferable…Khaki, duck, or crash habits are desirable for summer.

A black derby is the correct hat for winter, a plain straw sailor for summer, and sombreros are picturesque for some people in the far, far country. Of late a three-cornered hat has been popular, but it is not generally becoming. The hat should be large enough to set well down on the head and be kept in place by a broad elastic. Hat pins should never be worn; they look bad and are dangerous in case of accident. The hair should be worn plainly, either braided and tied at the neck with a ribbon or coiled securely low on the head.

Riding-boots, for comfort's sake a size larger than everyday shoes, should be of calfskin or patent leather…With summer habits tan boots should be worn or tan leggings over laced tan shoes. The boots, though, are always more comfortable than the leggings. Select your boots from a somewhat mannish last; the very pointed toe and high, narrow heels are no longer in vogue. Gloves should always be heavy, hand-sewed, with one or two clasps, and always a size or two larger than those ordinarily worn.

The underclothes for riding should be as carefully considered as the outer garments. The corset or corset waist should be loose enough for absolute comfort and freedom. Balbriggan drawers, such as boys wear, and socks are best. Stockings should not be used as they often wrinkle up and chafe, and elastics sometimes interfere with the circulation. Over the drawers may be worn with equestrian tights, reaching to the ankle, or breeches. The riding-breeches are made on the style of a man's riding-breeches and of similar material, but care should be taken that the buttons on the cuffs are on the inside of the right leg and on the outside of the left leg. After the tights or breeches are put on, draw on the boots.

Beneath the habit coast should be worn some kind of shirt-waist, and for neckwear I recommend an Ascot stock fastened with an appropriate pin. The linen collar and necktie are also very smart…All jewelry should be avoided…

The under-dressing for riding in the cross saddle should be similar to that for the side saddle. Very baggy riding-breeches and polo-legged boots should be worn. The stiff boot is better than the legging, as it does not show the shape of the leg. The coat should be single-breasted, rather loose fitting, and with quite full and very long skirts, coming below the knee when the wearer is mounted. The coast should be split up the back to allow the skirts to fall each side of the horse, and provided with two tabs which, when the rider is in the saddle, should be secured to a button on each knee. With the skirts of the coast fastened at the knee the whole thigh and upper leg are concealed, and nothing but a smart boot is visible."

Muchlys

2009-02-28T20:18:00.000-08:00

Yes, this is silly. And, no I didn't have anything better to do with my time...I was laying out and cutting Gregory's waistcoats while Heather and I discussed this...maybe I need something more engaging to do with my brain!!

"One day we discovered a land inside the world of insanity; this land is inhabited by the Muchlys. The Muchlys are divided into two classes. Pretty Muchlys and ugly Muchlys.

Some interesting facts discovered about the Muchlys are:
Their favorite vegetable is okies.
When they are irritated, the say ‘Oh Vista!’ Sometimes, this will be proceeded by "Wurgle!" and on rare occassion, will grow into the phrase "Vista-wurgle-ish!"

‘kk’ and ‘prolly’ are their two most common words in speech, and ‘yup’ is their single affirmative word.

One comical habit of the Muchlys is putting signs on their doors such as ‘here’, ‘away’, or ‘brb’ (be right back). The funny thing is that even when they put ‘away’ and ‘brb’ signs on their doors, you can almost always knock and find them still at home and happy to talk with you.

The only foreign word that the Muchlys know is ja. Due to the fact that ja is the only foreign with which they are familiar it takes on multiple spellings such as ja, jah or ya.

Another peculiar habit of the Muchlys is that after they declare that they are going to bed it is anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours before they actually head that direction.

‘Ornot’ is the term the Muchlys use when they have said something, but disagree and agree with it at the same time.

Another interesting thing about the Muchlys is that they stick their tongues out at people all the time. This action is used as a gag or joke with no negative connotations whatsoever.

Whenever they find something funny they almost always laugh aloud.

When they find something disagreeable or not to their liking they say ‘Hahah’ or ‘oh…..’ in the driest manner you have ever heard.

It is not uncommon to see the Muchlys all of a sudden roll around on the floor and laugh so hard that they start crying. The curious thing about these incidents is that they are in such a state for no more than two seconds and then they return to their former composed conversation.

Another fascinating talent of the Muchlys is the ability to carry on multiple, coherent, and deep conversations at the same.

But the most distinctive factor of the Muchlys’ culture is their famous word… ISH. Ish might mean anything from ‘sort of’ to ‘that’s right’ to ‘maybe’ to ‘I’m not sure, but I’ll say it anyway’. Though no one remembers the exact date, ish was declared a world in the land of Muchlys when they decided that they were tired of it being simply a suffix."

So there you have it. If you didn't get it, that's okay...

Who...what...when...where...why...how?

2009-02-24T20:29:00.000-08:00

WHO - am I? Am I who I say I am? Am I even who I think I am? A friend challenged me once, saying that integrity is being the same on the inside as on the outside. It bothers me that I lack integrity. If I am to be the same in my heart and my life I sure don't want people seeing some of what's inside me, which means I need a heart change.

WHAT - do I believe? Not because somebody told me so, not because I think it's a good idea, not because it makes logical sense, but what do I really hold dear in my heart as TRUTH? What do I know to be truth from God's word, from His evidence in all of life and creation?

WHEN - do I move on? Or do I at all? To be content in all circumstances, WOW! What a goal. I don't want to rush through this stage of my life. I don't want to miss what God is showing me and teaching me now.

WHERE - is God guiding my life? How will I know? There are goals that I have, selfish goals for my own gain. I don't want to pursue them because they are centered around self. But how do I know what God's goal is for my life? How hard it is to die to my own wants and sacrifice to let HIM do His work! But in all honesty, there is nothing more satisfying than knowing that my life glorifies Him!

WHY - do I do the things I do? In light of eternity, what does it even matter? Why, when I know that there are things in my life that matter only to me and even sometimes hurt others do I continue on? It is my prayer that God remove this from me, remove this desire from me, and give me a heart fully bound to Him!

HOW - do I use my life to greater glorify God? Where can I sacrifice, and give, and serve to HIS glory? Not for my own, but for Him. My purpose in life is to glorify God, but I miss the mark SOOO often. How can I change so that my life IS spent bringing glory to my God and King?

Psalm 139

O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.
O that You would slay the wicked, O God; Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed. For they speak against You wickedly, And Your enemies take Your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

Devotional from a couple days ago

2009-02-22T16:12:00.000-08:00

To Him be glory both now and forever.
—2 Peter 3:18

Heaven will be full of the ceaseless praises of Jesus. Eternity! thine unnumbered years shall speed their everlasting course, but forever and for ever, "to Him be glory." Is He not a "Priest for ever after the order of Melchisedek"? "To Him be glory." Is He not king for ever?--King of kings and Lord of lords, the everlasting Father? "To Him be glory for ever." Never shall His praises cease. That which was bought with blood deserves to last while immortality endures. The glory of the cross must never be eclipsed; the lustre of the grave and of the resurrection must never be dimmed. O Jesus! thou shalt be praised for ever. Long as immortal spirits live--long as the Father's throne endures--for ever, for ever, unto Thee shall be glory. Believer, you are anticipating the time when you shall join the saints above in ascribing all glory to Jesus; but are you glorifying Him now? The apostle's words are, "To Him be glory both now and for ever." Will you not this day make it your prayer? "Lord, help me to glorify Thee; I am poor, help me to glorify Thee by contentment; I am sick, help me to give Thee honour by patience; I have talents, help me to extol Thee by spending them for Thee; I have time, Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve thee; I have a heart to feel, Lord, let that heart feel no love but Thine, and glow with no flame but affection for Thee; I have a head to think, Lord, help me to think of Thee and for Thee; Thou hast put me in this world for something, Lord, show me what that is, and help me to work out my life-purpose: I cannot do much, but as the widow put in her two mites, which were all her living, so, Lord, I cast my time and eternity too into Thy treasury; I am all Thine; take me, and enable me to glorify Thee now, in all that I say, in all that I do, and with all that I have."

The Femenist Agenda...in their own words.

2009-02-19T07:24:00.000-08:00

I had a question come up in a femininity Bible study that I am doing..."Name a few ideas that feminists and society promote as 'right' for women." So instead of using head knowledge, I went to several feminists websites, and use their own words. This, is what Biblical femininity is at war against!!!

“The domination of women by men is justified as being divinely ordained. "God" supposedly granted males the right to control every aspect of womens' lives so they could dominate and exploit them for personal gain.”

“In order for a woman to live her life as an autonomous human being, she must not only defy mortal men, but their gods as well.”

"Biblical myths give men divine permission to dominate both women and animals.”

“The simple fact is that every woman must be willing to be identified as a lesbian to be fully feminist .”

“Overthrowing capitalism is too small for us. We must overthrow the whole... patriarch!”

"Let's forget about the mythical Jesus and look for encouragement, solace and inspiration from real women... Two thousand years of patriarchal rule under the shadow of the cross ought to be enough to turn women toward the feminist 'salvation' of this world."

"Therefore I love Your commandments above gold, yes, above fine gold. Therefore esteem all thy precepts concerning ALL things to be right; and I hate every false way." Psalm 119:127-128

My sister is AMAZING!!!

2009-02-14T20:27:00.000-08:00

See??? This was done by my almost 12 year old sister. It is the 3rd colored pencil drawing she has done.

Rain & Cameras & Pennies mix nicely!

2009-02-11T14:58:00.000-08:00

Well, not really...but when it's been raining for so long that there are rivers in the flat yard, I have to find things to do inside. So I decided to sort my pennies. I'm a genius, no?! I wanted to see how many I had from between 1934 and 2008. So I did. I sorted my pennies. And then my quarters. I found one that has no D or P mark on it...forged? I'm not sure where it was minted. And then my nickels. And then my dimes. I had a huge jar of change, so it took awhile. I had everything spread out on my mirror (which isn't mounted on the wall, so I put it on the floor :P) and shuffled it around...but it ended up looking so cool that I decided to introduce...tada...the CAMERA!!! And take some pictures of the very cool pennies. So I did. Can you tell I need to go something more productive with my time?! So I took some pictures, and put up my three favorites.

Fourth, and Fourth, and LILLY!

2009-02-05T18:59:00.000-08:00

So I got tagged...I'm supposed to put up the fourth picture from my fourth folder...so here it is!

This is Lilly, a TB/draft cross mare who I have in dressage training. She is about 17h, lightly fleabitten gray. She came to us as a broodmare of 13 years, very little under saddle experience, and the about the rudest manners of any horse. Needless to say, she is being reformed, and becoming one my favorite horses to work. The light draw-reins were soon retired after I changed to yet another, softer bit. And since she has gotten more submissive she now carries the bit, so no more flash! That is me riding, but the picture is by my little sister and obviously of the horse, so there ya go!

Brilliance needs a thinking cap, heads need trap doors.

2009-02-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

A friend directed me to a piece of literature which is brilliantly written! Everyone should read this. BUT, before you do, take the thinking cap (that I know you NEVER take off) turn it around straight, and go read...The Children's Story

Oh yes, and explaining why heads need trap doors...I overheard my two youngest siblings last night in the kitchen while they did dishes...

Sib 7-"I wish something."
Sib 8-"What do you wish?"
Sib 7-"I won't tell you."
Sib 8-"Why not?"
Sib 7-"Oh, cause it's something that so smart, Sib 5 and I thought it up."
Sib 8-"Oh really? Well, what is it?!"
Sib 7-"Hm. Should I tell you?"
Sib 8-"Yes, you should. I wanna know!"
Sib 7-"Okay. See we invested this thing, that we wish could be real. And it's a really cool thing."
Sib 8-"Well, what is it?"
Sib 7-"A trap door. We should have trap doors in our heads. Then, we could make tiny pencils, and rolls of paper, and keep them there. And if we needed to write something down, we could just open the trap door and pull them out and write the something down and then put it all back. That is what we invented and wish it was real. It's a genius idea!"
Sib 8-"Oh. You didn't invent it. I already invented it in my head too, so we're not gonna quarrel about it."

And that was that. It was the end of the discussion! Mom and I were planning the schedule in the living room, and just busted up laughing. It was very funny!

As promised...A study on kindness

2009-02-02T16:13:00.000-08:00

For those of you who are truly committed blog readers, this is long...but worth every word!!!

KINDNESS

Some scriptures having to do with the issue of kindness.

Ephesians 4:29-32 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. ”

Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”

Proverbs 19:22 “What is desirable in a man is his kindness, and it is better to be a poor man than a liar.”

Proverbs 31:26 “She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

Ephesians 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ,”

Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”

James 3:5-12 “So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh.”

Proverbs 1:4 “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.”

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Due to it's close association with kind words, we did a study on WHOLESOME.

(Does not appear in the NASB, so no Greek...)

Wholesome – 1. Tending to promote health; favoring health; salubrious; as wholesome air or diet; a wholesome climate. 2. Sound; contributing to the health of the mind; favorable to morals, religion or prosperity; as wholesome advice; wholesome doctrines; wholesome truths.

__Salubrious - Favorable to health; healthful; promoting health.

__Salutary – 1. Wholesome; healthful; promoting health. Diet and exercise are salutary to men of sedentary habits. 2. Promotive of public safety; contributing to some beneficial purpose. The strict discipline of youth has a salutary effect on society.

__Virtue – Moral goodness; the practice of moral duties and the abstaining from vice, or a conformity of life and conversation to the moral law.

____Vice – Any moral unfitness of conduct, either from defect of duty, or from the transgression or known principles or rectitude.

______Rectitude – In morality, righteousness of principle or practice; uprightness of mind; exact conformity to truth or the rules prescribed for moral conduct. Rectitude of mind is the disposition to act in conformity to any known standard of right, truth or justice; rectitude of conduct is the actual conformity to such a standard.

________Disposition – Temper or natural constitution of the mind; the temper or frame of mind.

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and WHOLESOMENESS

(Does not appear in the NASB, so no Greek...)

Wholesomeness - The quality of contributing to health; salubrious; as the wholesomeness of air or diet.

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and UNWHOLESOME

Greek
σαπρός saprose (sä-pro's)
rotten, putrefied; corrupted by one and no longer fit for use, worn out; of poor quality, bad, worthless.

Unwholesome - 1. Not wholesome; unfavorable to health; insalubrious; as unwholesome air or food. 2. Pernicious; as unwholesome advice. Taking away from the health of the mind.

__Insalubrious – Unfavorable to health; unhealthful; promoting health.

__Pernicious - 1. Destructive; having the quality of killing, destroying or injuring; very injurious or mischievous. Food, drink or air may be pernicious to life or health. 2. Destructive; tending to injure or destroy.

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and looked quickly at EDIFICATION

Edification – the advancement of excellence; virtuousness; proficiency toward wisdom and healthy learning; literally creating a framework to improve morally and intellectually.

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and now KINDNESS

Hebrew:
חסד checed (kheh'·sed)
mercy, kindness, lovingkindness, goodness, kindly, merciful, favour, good, goodliness, pity, reproach, wicked thing

Greek:
φιλαδελφία philadelphia (fē-lä-del-fē'-ä)
Love of brothers or sisters, brotherly love; in the NT the love which Christians cherish for each other as brethren.

φιλανθρωπία philanthrōpia (fē-län-thrō-pē'-ä)
love of mankind, benevolence

χρηστότης chrēstotēs (khrā-sto'-tās)
Moral goodness, integrity; benignity, kindness.

Kindness - 1. Good will; benevolence; that temper or disposition which delights in contributing to the happiness of others, which is exercised cheerfully in gratifying their wishes, supplying their wants or alleviating their distresses; benignity of nature. Kindness ever accompanies love. 2. Act of good will; beneficence; any act of benevolence which promotes the happiness or welfare of others. Charity, hospitality, attentions to the wants of others, &c., are deemed acts of kindness, or kindnesses.

__Benevolence - 1. The disposition to do good; good will; kindness; charitableness; the love of mankind, accompanied with a desire to promote their happiness. 2. An act of kindness; good done.

____Disposition – Temper or natural constitution of the mind; the temper or frame of mind.

__Cheerful - 1. Lively; animated; having good spirits; moderately joyful. 2. Expressive of good spirits or joy; lively; animated.

__Benign - 1. Kind; of a kind disposition; gracious; favorable.

__Beneficence - Doing good; performing acts of kindness and charity. It differs from benign, as the act from the disposition; beneficence being benignity or kindness exerted in action.

__Action - In ethics, the external signs or expression of the sentiments of a moral agent; conduct; behavior; demeanor; that is, motion or movement, with respect to a rule or propriety.

__Charity - 1. In a general sense, love, benevolence, good will; that disposition of heart which inclines men to think favorably of their fellow men to think favorably of their fellow men, and to do them good.

__Hospitality - The act or practice of receiving and entertaining strangers or guests without reward, or with kind and generous liberality.

____Liberality - A particular act of generosity; a donation; a gratuity.

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and KIND

Greek:
φύσις physis (fü'-sēs)
Nature, natural, kind, mankind, nature; the sum of innate properties and powers by which one person differs from others, distinctive native peculiarities, natural characteristics: the natural strength, ferocity, and intractability of beasts.

χρηστεύομαι chrēsteuomai (khrā-styü'-o-mī)
To show one's self mild, to be kind, use kindness.

χρηστός chrēstos (khrā-sto's)
Fit, fit for use, useful; virtuous, good; manageable; mild, pleasant (as opp. to harsh, hard sharp, bitter); of things: more pleasant, of people: more kind, benevolent.

Kind - 1. Disposed to do good to others, and to make them happy by granting their requests, supplying their wants or assisting them in distress; having tenderness or goodness of nature; benevolent; benignant. 2. Proceeding from tenderness or goodness of heart; benevolent; as a kind act; a kind return of favors.

__Illustrious - 1. Conspicuous; distinguished by the reputation of greatness; renowned; eminent; as an illustrious general or magistrate; an illustrious prince. 2. Conspicuous; renowned; conferring honor; as illustrious actions. 3. Glorious; as an illustrious display of the divine perfections. 4. A title of honor.

__Disposed - 2. To regulate; to adjust; to set in right order. 4. To set, place or turn to a particular end or consequence. 6. To set the mind in a particular frame; to incline. Avarice disposes men to fraud and oppression.

__Dispose - 1. Disposition; cast of behavior. 2. Disposition; cast of mind; inclination. 3. Natural fitness or tendency. 4. Inclination; propensity; the temper or frame of mind, as directed to particular objects.

__Distress - Affliction; calamity; misery.

__Tenderness - The state of being tender or easily broken. (pride ?) 2. Kind attention; anxiety for the good of another, or to save him from pain. 3. Softness of expression; pathos.

____Broken - Contrition; as brokenness of heart.

______Contrition - 1. The act of grinding or rubbing to powder. 2. Penitence; deep sorrow for sin; grief of heart for having offended an infinitely holy and benevolent God.

__Goodness - 1. The moral qualities which constitute christian excellence; moral virtue; religion. 2. Kindness; benevolence; benignity of heart; but more generally, acts of kindness; charity; humanity exercised. 3. Kindness; benevolence of nature; mercy. 4. Kindness; favor shown; acts of benevolence, compassion or mercy.

__Nature - 1. The established or regular course of things. 2. The essence, essential qualities or attributes of a thing, which constitute it what it is.

__Benevolence - 1. The disposition to do good; good will; kindness; charitableness; the love,of mankind, accompanied with a desire to promote their happiness. 2. An act of kindness; good done.

__Favor - A kind act or office; kindness done or granted; benevolence shown by word or deed; any act of grace or good will, as distinguished from acts of justice.

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The definitions I came up with based on my studies:

Kind - state of character in which one earnestly desires to do good to others, that results in actions of kindness.

Kindness – actions of goodness and tenderness for the good of another.

Unwholesomeness – That which is not only not good for one, but destructive to moral, spiritual and physical states.

Wholesome – Moral uprightness that contributes to the good health of the mind and development of character. (to build up the mind in knowledge faith and holiness)

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A fascinating discovery: based on all the study we did on kind vs. kindness, we came to a most interesting conclusion. The word KIND refers to a state of being, a state of existance if you will, in which your CHARACTER possesses the traits that are enacted as kindness. The word KINDNESS refers not to a state of character, but rather a form of action. I always equated the two words as being the same. Shows what study will do: prove how little I really know! I love to learn!!!

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Another interesting note...my least favorite part of all...in the study of the word kind, the definition refers to "having tenderness or goodness of nature" So when I looked up tenderness, it led to broken, and broken on to contrition. Did you look at the definition of the word contrition? I honestly think I have found my new least favored word. I don't like that word. In case you skipped through and didn't read it all, or maybe you read the whole thing and forgot what it said, or maybe you didn't skip through you just jumped right to the end, I will remind you what contrition means: 1. The act of grinding or rubbing to powder. 2. Penitence; deep sorrow for sin; grief of heart for having offended an infinitely holy and benevolent God. Yes. Brokenness of heart, of pride, of self. That is a hard thing to let happen. But to be kind, I must be tender, to be tender I must be broken, and to be broken, I must be contrite. So, in my quest for kindness, I was once again led back to the heart of the issue: the sinful heart of me. And since I strive to be more kind, guess what it means? I have be ground to powder, broken, tender, HUMBLE, and then I can be kind. Wow, see? I told you that you would be amazed. I never thought kindness would lead me there. But as I have learned, to be kind, I have to have a change of heart. Being kind is not kindness, not just the nice actions, it is a character state. A heart condition. Something I am far from...

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And so now, persevering blog reader, you have read what I have learned (In my head) and have a glimpse of what I now face in my pursuit if being KIND.

But, to you faithful few who read all the way, you now possess my utmost respect, for wading through this wonderful stuff and now being accountable, like I am, as to what being KIND really means.

A fascinating word study...

2009-01-27T17:11:00.000-08:00

...on kindness. Imagine that. It is for family Bible Study time. Let me make a disclaimer: if you ever do a word study on kindness, prepare to be amazed. I have been. Seriously, there is SOOO much more in the meaning of that word than I EVER guessed. So once I'm done, I'll put that study up here. You can wade through it, and be convicted just like me :)

Faith is...

2009-01-26T21:41:00.000-08:00

...ceasing to worry, leaving the future to the God who controls the future...accepting the truth that in spite of all I've done, God has wiped the slate clean and delights in me...giving up the image of perfection I struggle for and accepting GRACE...waiting patiently for God to make me more Christ-like through difficult people and circumstances when I want Him to give me a quick fix - preferably painless...remembering that I carry God's awesome presence into each daily routine encounter even when I feel like a dull leaden weight...keeping on keeping on when I am dog-tired, discouraged, disillusioned, deserted, dusty dry - cast on His strength alone...accepting the fact that God knows better than I do what is ultimately good for me and brings HIM the most glory...walking before God, not anyone else...appreciating that my capacity to feel, communicate, think, choose, and commune with God comes from His making me more like Himself...trusting that God is doing His work in me when I feel inwardly cold, hollow, lifeless, deserted, and I long for reassurance...speaking the truth in love even at the cost of position or friendship...doing the right thing regardless of the consequences...reliance on the certainty that God has a plan for my life when everything seems uncertain...confidence that God is enacting His plan when He answers "No" to my prayers...thanking God when I am left with shattered plans, that He has better plans...LETTING GO OF THAT WHICH GOD IS ASKING ME FOR.

Life...is...WONDERFUL!

2009-01-24T13:32:00.000-08:00

You know, it's about 9 degrees outside, and my arm aches cause a nurse stuck me in the nerve yesterday, and I'm getting over a head cold, but none of it seems to matter much...I have the most amazing family ever! I am alive and well, and amazed that God even granted me the great gift if life! I am more amazed as the days go by as I see God's hand at work in my life, in ways I never imagined possible! I look back and revel even more at how I see His hand at work when I never guessed! Today was created by God, so my job is to just enjoy it, for FREE! How easy is that?!!! My life was saved by the death of my very best friend, and comes with a promise of eternal life spent WITH my very best friend!!!

God is AWESOME!

Life is indeed a blessing, which I do not deserve.

Have a really good laugh!!!

2009-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Walking vs. Living

2008-12-27T16:38:00.001-08:00

I came across a verse. Wow! Very profound, I know. "If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit." Galatians 5:25

Well, in my mind at least, living in the Spirit and walking in the Spirit are basically the same thing. Our walk through life is what we are living, so living out our life is what we walk. Simple enough. So then why did Paul repeat himself? First, I went back and read the context: Paul is writing to the Galatian church, and is encouraging them to give up the yoke of slavery, self, that separates them from Christ. He goes on to tell them that once they are following Christ, to refrain from turning that new found freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but rather a chance to serve one another. He then urges then to act not in accordance to their own desires, the flesh again, but by the will of the Spirit of God.

So, I wonder if there is a difference between walking and living...

"But I say walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please." Galatians 5:16-17

"He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those whoa re according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit." Romans 8:3b-5

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest." Ephesians 2:1-3

So it appears that walking, refers to following our fleshly desires. So then, walking by the Spirit would to give up walking by our fleshly desires. I wonder what living is...

"For all who are being led by the Spirit, these are the sons of God." Romans 8:14

"So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh, for it you are living according for the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God." Romans 8:12-14

"Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God." 1 Peter 4:2

"For it is a trustworthy statement: For if we died with Him, we will also live with Him." 2 Timothy 2:11

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20

“For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we are the Lord's.” Romans 14:7-8

Living, is similar. It is a death of our fleshly desires. But even more than that, after the death of our fleshly desires, it is fully following God, and His will and plan. We are alive only in Christ. Living in Christ leaves no room for our own desires. Once we are walking by the Spirit, dying to self, we need to take the next step and live by the Spirit, allowing Him to be in full control of our lives. As a good friend put it, “We can walk the path, be so-so, but when it becomes an integral part of every bit of our whole being, then we are living it.”

So then I checked another translation which was helpful:

“If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.”

Got it...uh, wait, the moment I say that...well how about this: I think I understand that verse for now. The more I learn, the less I know. Seriously. For each new thing I learn, I catch a glimpse of the vastness of the knowledge about that thing that DON'T know. I love learning. It's humbling...

Um...mental exercise?

2008-12-21T20:25:00.000-08:00

Random

2008-12-19T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have been to busy, and I can't seem to sit down to right anything profound. So here are some random things...

At work this last week, I was running QC on a file, and came across the code 2SCHMCT. I thought "Oh cool, my initials, wonder which mailing list this code is for." So I looked it up...Teachers of Multi-Challenged...sorta burst my bubble.

Question: What is it, that after you take away the whole, some still remains?

I overheard a conversation in the hall outside my office...two people were talking about animal cruelty, and how sad it was. One person said, "You know in the Bible, where it talks about the least of these? Well hello! That's just what those dear animals are. The least of these! If we can't even treat them right, just imagine what we'll do to poor innocent people!" I was ticked...

Here's something fun to try: Ask your friends to define the words accordion, goatee and spiral staircase. Be amused at the gestures that accompany the definitions.

A good quote: God has made us for Himself. Are hearts are always restless until we find our rest in Him.

What is a fool?

2008-12-14T20:52:00.000-08:00

one who despises wisdom and instruction (Proverbs 1:7; 10:21)
one who lacks sense (Proverbs 8:5)
one who utters slander (Proverbs 10:8)
one who does not heed advice (Proverbs 12:15)
one who does not control his feelings (Proverbs 12:16; 29:11)
one who flaunts his folly (Proverbs 12:32)
one who is reckless and careless (Proverbs 14:16)
one who has a quick temper (Proverbs 14:17)
one who despises his father’s instruction (Proverbs 15:5)
one who despises his mother (Proverbs 15:20)
one who does not accept reproof (Proverbs 17: 10)
is bitterness to his parents (Proverbs 17:21, 25)
one who would rather express his own opinion than gain understanding (Proverbs 18:2)
one who loves quarreling (Proverbs 20:3)
one who despises good sense (Proverbs 23:9)
one for whom honor is not fitting (Proverbs 26:1)
one who trusts in his own mind (Proverbs 28:26)
and the list goes on…

The World's Best Cat! Ruth!!!

2008-12-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

I found her one day on the side of the road, skin and bones, sick, mangy, one back leg had a high femur break, and she had a 6 inch scar across her shoulders. So being the compassionate person that I am, I picked up this cat, and took her home with me. When I took her inside, Daddy said "What's that?!" That's how bad she looked...but she was like a puppy dog in cat skin. She LOVED people, she'd flop over on her back to get petted, she loved tummy scratches, and was best friends with the dog. So Daddy decided to keep her, as a lesson in compassion...she wasn't purebred or fancy, she was downright ugly, but we learned to love
her anyway.

So we got her leg amputated, it had been broken too long to set. We tried to get her spayed, but she'd already had it done...poor patient kitty. And we bathed, and wormed and fed this little thing. And discovered that our little three-legged kitty was not only three legged, but had two extra claws on each foot. And was blind in one eye. And was completely deaf. She really WAS special!

So into our lives came Ruth Kastune. Ruth? Because Boaz showed compassion to Ruth...Kastune? Estonian for compassion...and she got our last name as well. And so, as part of the lesson on compassion, we got our first house pet. She might have been small, but she grew. She might have been ugly, but once she filled out and got shiny, she was beautiful. She might have been blind, but she could see halfway, enough to see us and come get petted. She might have been deaf, but I'm sure she heard through her feet, cause she could always tell when we were coming and would run to meet us. She might have been three-legged, but she ran like any other cat, learned to climb trees, and caught mice like a champ. She might have looked like an ugly mangy thing when I found her, but she sure loved us back!!!

Boy was she something. Ruth learned to sit in cowboy hats, slide across the tile floors(okay, so when she ran she could never stop and make the corners...her one back leg would give out, she'd fall and slide into the wall, then jump up and keep running), sleep on her back, climb the route of desks and dressers and beds to sleep on Heather's bunk, sleep under the covers, catch rat-sized mice, chase whatever happened to be on the end of a string being drug around the house, climb trees, ride the dog, run with three legs, chase 5 foot black snakes, ride in the pony cart, run around with dish towels thrown across her back, chase mops, jump into the windows to sit in the sun, stand on on leg and tap the door to let us know she wanted in, and any sort of cardboard box was her BEST friend for taking naps, hiding in, and doing whatever. She was pretty special.

So we just got home from vacation, and found out that Ruth isn't here anymore...our rental house is on a highway, and I guess she didn't hear the car...she is missed, and I don't think she'll ever really have a replacement.

A Viking Worth Liking

2008-11-26T07:02:00.000-08:00

The title of a stop-motion lego short that Greg and I made a couple months ago. We submitted it to the San Antonio Independant Christian Film Festival, and were super delighted when we found out it got accepted. We were also quite humbled...it is the first movie we have ever made.

Food for thought

2008-11-25T22:42:00.000-08:00

"If you are not spending time with the Lord every day, then you have a major pride problem. Just think for a moment, for a believer, it could only be pride that would allow them to think that spending time in the Word and with the Lord is not a necessary part of the relationship." Mom read it in a book today...I was driving...needless to say I had food for thought for quite some time. Because I'll be honest, I do not always spend my daily time with God. I don't think that I think that time with God is unnecessary, but then again, do I? It was convicting to hear.

My baby sister is a genius

2008-11-19T12:25:00.000-08:00

My baby sister can't read...and this morning in school she was checking off her completed work in the assignment notebook.

Monica: Julia, let me do that, so you don't check the wrong boxes.

Julia: They're not the wrong boxes. I'm checking the right ones!

Monica: How do you know? You can't even read them!

Julia: I don't have to read them. I KNOW what they mean.

Monica: How would you know?

Julia: Come here and I'll show you. See this one has MUS like my math book, so that one is my math. This one has a z, and I only have one school thing with z, and it's Zoology, so that has to be my science. And this was always has a hand written note from Mom, which means that's Bible study, cause she always writes in the Bible study. And this one has an "I" at the beginning, so that has to be italics cause I know that's the first sound. And this one is my Phonics cause it's the only one left.

Monica: Well that's not everything. What about the next day...(I'm pretty impressed, but doubtful as to completing the next day)

Julia: Okay! History has a US at the beginning, and that always goes with United States and that's what we're studying. So that's history. And BTS matches the copies Mom gave me, so that has to be the shapes pages. And I already told you the rest.

Monica: Uh...okay fine. You can check off your own assignments.

Julia: See, I told you!

So yeah. My little sister is 7. She's a genius, agreed?

According to Daddy...

2008-11-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

...it's called a "late night feeding spree". And since Dad is always right, that must be what it is. I only eat at 9:30 at night when I feel good. For the first time since my "collision" several days ago, I feel good. I am, temporarily, headache free. I'm not moving much, so my neck doesn't ache either. And I had a nap, so for the moment, I'm not tired. I feel like going for a long run, but that would be detrimental I'm afraid, so I'm restraining myself and sitting still...

I love deep thoughts...

2008-11-13T21:39:00.000-08:00

so I thought I'd share some from St. Augustine. Don't think too hard now...

“What then is the God I worship? He can be none but the Lord God himself, for who but the Lord is God? What other refuge can there be, except our God? You, my God, are supreme, utmost in goodness, mightiest and all-powerful, most merciful and most just. You are the most hidden from us and yet the most present among us, the most beautiful and yet the most strong, ever enduring and yet we cannot comprehend You. You are unchangeable and yet all things have new life from You. You are the unseen power that brings decline upon the proud. You are ever active yet always at rest. You gather all things to yourself, thought you suffer no need. You support, you fill, and you protect all things. You create them, nourish them, and bring them back to perfection. You seek to make them your own, though you lack for nothing. You love your creatures, but with a gentle love. You treasure them, but without apprehension. You grieve for wrong, but suffer no pain. You can be angry and yet serene. Your works are varies, but your purpose is one and the same. You welcome all who come to you, though you never lost them. You are never in need, yet are glad to gain, never covetous yet you exact a return for your gifts. We give abundantly to you so that we may deserve a reward; yet which of us has anything that does not come from you? You repay from our debts, but you lose nothing thereby. You are my God, my life, my holy delight. But is it enough to say of you? Can any man say enough when he speaks to you? Yet woe betide those who are silent about you! For even those who are most gifted with speech cannot find words to describe you.”

Why?

2008-11-13T20:49:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about why. I nice simple little word, right? Well, did you ever wonder why the word "abbreviation" was such a long word? Did you ever wonder how the word "IF" contains enough to fill infinity? Did you ever comprehend how much damage the word "I" has caused? But...did you ever wonder why?

Why do I live? Simple answer: to glorify God.

So then...Why do I so often turn my efforts to other things? Why do I forget what self-sacrifice is? Why do I spend time on things that don't matter? Why do I fail to see the ramifications of my actions? Why do I treat other people better than those I love most? Why do I question God? Why do pant for water when I know where to find the stream? Why am I restless when I know where to find rest? Why?

I'm a sinful human, who is proud and selfish, and wants to do my own things more than give it up for someone else. But I forget that. It easy to forget that, because it doesn't feel nice to remember it. It seems easier to be self-confident than to trust (Wrong). It seems easier to forget about others in my own pursuits (The consequences always come). It seems easy to forget about important things (When in all reality they're nagging at me the whole time). It seems like I could be glorifying God better doing something else (Wrong again). The response is to glorify Him where I am. It's hard sometimes, you know. To give up me, self, I. So when I know, when I have experienced His grace time and again, when I know the results of laying it down to serve Him, why do I still not do it?

Because it's hard, and it hurts. To really die to self, to really trust, to really actually serve out of love, is to rely on God. All the way. It is completely anti – self. Yup. It's sacrifice. It is against human nature, and it's just plain hard. But you know, it's worth it. But I tend to forget that to. I wrote about grace once...

“Truly, I deserve no grace!!! But I couldn't believe that I was actually feeling that way. It really terrified me. I understood all of a sudden my depravity to a new level. I felt a tremendous hopelessness, weakness, smallness, insignificance, worthlessness. A deep hopelessness that was simply, terribly, hopeless. In that moment when I felt really actually like I belonged in hell, something happened. I was so hopeless that God became hope. I was so weak that he became almighty. I was so small that he became everything. I was so helpless that He became almighty sovereign. I was so worthless that He became priceless. I understood God. I understood His grace. When I was drowning, he lifted me and turned His loving gaze upon my face, and I said, simply, with all His heart, “I love you.” How? How could He? I don't know, because he created me? That's not enough. I don't know how or why. I only know He did. Well, in God's arms, cradled in His immensity and strength, you understand who He is, you see His character. And when you see God, you understand. I understood Him. I knew that in my helplessness, in my heart-hearted hate, He was setting me free.”

So yeah. Interesting stuff. People tell me I think to much...but I do wonder why? When I know the answer, when I know what I need to do, why don't I do it?

I love frisbee...but not always the side effects...

2008-11-10T17:39:00.001-08:00

I was playing frisbee yesterday with a bunch of friends, and had a slight, no make that MAJOR collision with one of my friends. He was supposed to catch the frisbee, I was trying to knock it down before he got to it. I think I ran into him. Suffice it to say we ended up in the same place at the same time. BAD IDEA. The impact threw us both backwards, where lay until we could breath again.

I'm still in one piece...the chiropractor was kind enough to put my neck, back and rib back where they belonged, but the sledge hammer behind my eyes has yet to take his welcome leave. I'm quite sore, and my left eye vision is not normal. I was a bit dizzy last night, and took a trip down the stairs on my back. Not a suggestion, by the way.

My friend however, has suffered a slight concussion. Probably we both did, but he has worse side effects. His eyes won't focus, he has a constant headache, and some other stuff besides being quite sore. Fellow collissionary, you are welcome to leave comments. My apologies!!!

I VOTED...

2008-11-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

...so now it's in God's hands. Not that it wasn't to begin with, but now there is nothing more I can do.

A new concept of suffering and blessing

2008-11-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

Our pastor preached a really good sermon on Sunday. In it, he talked about blessing, and suffering, and how they are related.

He said that suffering is not necessarily an indication that God's blessing is being withheld from our lives. Rather, it may be in indication that we are living in a more Christlike manner, bringing upon ourselves the suffering and blessing that God promises.

I Peter 3:14,17 "But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong."

Matthew 5 tells that who is blessed? Those who are the poor in spirit, the mourners, the gentle, the hungry, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those who have been pursecuted.

I thought it interesting that he pointed out that the suffering people listed above are blessed. Perhaps blessing is, in part, suffering?! Living for Jesus invites suffering into our lives. If we are living like Christ, we will suffer like Christ. He furthermore suggested that suffering is mainly external, and the blessing that comes paired with suffering, is what overflows from our hearts as God is at work. The blessing and suffering run hand in hand.

I guess there are plenty of examples, if we look. Paul comes to mind immediately, but really, if you look at Bible character who was considered blessed, they had a tremendous share of suffering that came with it...I thought it was pretty cool. The whole idea that suffering could be an indication that we are living lives pleasing to God, rather vice versa.

Inside leg to outside rein connection.

2008-10-27T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's a dressage thing (it has to do with horses:P ). So unless you happen to be Miss Joy, you'll probably get lost...but in case you want to read it, here's the translation: it was a good thing.

...so I got it today! Okay, it only worked ONE time through to canter, but Lilly responded beautifully! We side-passed along the wall, flexed right, did a rollback onto her haunches, and then as I supported inside leg, cued seat and outside leg and held outside rein, she opened her shoulder right up and reached into the right lead canter! It was lovely. She was round, forward, working the bit, and comfortable. I can't wait until tomorrow. I'll keep working on strengthening my left side so that I can cue her correctly, then we'll get it more than once. Lilly has a bad habit and tendency to hollow out going from trot into canter, she braces against the bit instead of staying round. On top of that, she counter-bends. I have been working hard to teach her to move off of leg aids, and she has made good progress. She is now willing to move of my leg at the walk and trot, especially on the 20m circle or volte. The canter has been a struggle from the beginning, but at least we are past the breakneck speeding. She's making good progress. So now that I know she WILL move off the leg, we'll begin to transfer that to her canter as well. I just hope that she will learn quickly how to move off it rather than running through...

Kids, raccoons, cake, and ponies.

2008-10-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

I was the substitute teacher for the 1st and 2nd grade sunday school class today, where there is a known little trouble-maker of a fellow. Engaging stories(try Joseph-pits, jail, Pharaohs, the the whole nine yards!), lots of voice inflection, cool questions, pictures, they go a long way even with little boys! The whole hour long class, all the kids were engaged, interested, and involved in the story, discussion, and learning the memory verse. I was impressed. I wrote the memory verse on the white board, and let the kids erase one or two words at a time. Then we all repeated the verse, including the missing words, until there was nothing left on the board. Games DO make learning fun!

So then we got home from church. And there was a raccoon in our side yard. This raccoon proceeded to look at us all, walk over and meet my pony, and then turn around and come rambling over to meet us. NOT normal raccoon behavior. It was walking on it's tiptoes with it's back arched up. Did I mention that it was 1pm, broad daylight?! So we shot it. Maybe the cat food will stop disappearing now...

And then I tried to make apple cake for snack. But I got busy talking about, oh what was it...who knows. So I ended up adding an extra cup of flour to the cake. So now instead of batter, I had a bowl full of thick goo. So I added another cup of flour, kneaded this new form of apple "cake", rolled it into balls, and baked it on cookies sheets. It tastes just like apple cake. Only with the delicious top crust all around each bite! I think I'm never making apple cake the "right" way again :)

So then I took the extra apple out to my pony, and we played tag! (he's learning how, and catching on fast!) Yes, in my very full crazy orange skirt, and cool orange shirt, with my hair loose and the wind blowing, I played tag with my pony for 10 minutes. I ran like I was wild, barefoot, through the mud and everything...I felt like a kid again!!!

Dumped, dragged, and dirty, but delighted!

2008-10-24T19:12:00.001-07:00

I had one of those sorts of days today. Where it starts out bad, and then just gets better as you realize all positive things that happened.

I went out to work my pony this morning, to find that it was cold, and windy and of course it started to drizzle after I started riding. Well, much to my surprise, Rocky was very quiet, and obedient. I groomed him, tacked up, and walked trotted and cantered without incident. THEN, the real pony came out. When I was least expecting it, Rocky took off bucking and kicking, he just went nuts. Needless to say, I came of forwards, over his head. Both feet came loose from the stirrups, so I was off clean. (I was glad for those peacock stirrups!) Well, I managed to hang onto the reins, dumb idea. Rocky took off, with me dragging behind him. At least I was smart enough to let go after a bit. Getting dragged isn't too bad on wet grass. (I was grateful for that rain after all.) I got up and my helmet fell off, unsnapped. (The snap wasn't supposed to come undone!!! However, I'm glad it waited to fall off until I was done going places) So Rocky took off and ran all around our 13 acres, losing both my stirrup pads, and one stirrups leather with it's stirrup. (I'm glad we only have 13 acres to look over instead of 40!) He ran like a maniac for about 5 minutes, and then started to slow down. UNTIL, he got his hind left foot caught in the reins. Then he went nuts again, and kept running for probably 3 more minutes. Then the snap on the right rein came undone, and let the reins loose (Thank Fopias for letting me borrow those braided western reins with the snaps!!) So once he was DONE running like a maniac, I got back on him to finish the lesson. What a ride! It lasted about 70 minutes before the battle of the wills was done. By the end, I had a very submissive polite little pony!!! I hope he remembers the lesson...

This afternoon, I went to the stable to train, and had two fabulous rides! Both the horses did well. Three horses, three successful training sessions. I have to admit, I'm a bit sore, but it was totally worth it!

To all you NON-HORSEY people, who don't quite understand that, it's okay. In summary, it was a good thing.

I got my first ticket...

2008-10-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

...because the windows in my new car are tinted illegally dark. Yup, going to court on November 18th. Ruined my perfect record... :(

The good news? There's an out. I've already removed the tinting, so now I have to drive 65 minutes to the sheriff's office (in the county south of us, in which I happened to be driving when I got pulled over) and have them recheck the windows. They will be legal now, so the sheriff will sign the back of the ticket. Then in November, I can present the signed ticket to the judge, and she will void it, and I won't have to pay the fine.

The sad news? I'll never be able to say again that "I've never had a ticket." I had no idea there was a law regarding tinted windows. I guess I have some more studying to do.

Prince Caspian

2008-10-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

At request of a dear friend of mine, here is my review from back when the movie came out.

In the book that Lewis wrote, each child, as well as Trumpkin, has in individual trial, test of faith, and then resulting deeper faith and trust in Aslan. In the book, Susan and Lucy are cast as women, in the more “homely” helpful, serving role of a woman. In the book, the decisions made are made because they will advance the “agenda” if you will, of Aslan, in Narnia. In the book, the children are fully supportive of King Caspian to help him regain the territory and kingship that has been long lost to Telmarine control. In the book, the hidden Narnians come out in force to help regain that which has been lost. The overall tone of the book is this: Aslan is sovereign in Narnia, he calls the children back to help and assist Caspian in regaining his throne, he uses the weakness of the children as an opportunity to make himself manifest, and to deepen their faith and trust in himself. It is a very Biblical worldview. It is a true allegory to how God works in our lives.

In the movie Lucy is the only one to have a real trial and resulting deeper faith. (Granted, Edmund is strong, but he does not grow. He plods along as he is.) In the movie, the decisions that are made are made by the kids, and Caspian, with their own end in mind (in several cases for their own perceived glory). They were not basing their decisions on the foundation of “”What is best for Narnia, and WWAslanD?” In the movie, Susan in particular is very much masculinized (is that a word?) The place for women is NOT in the thick of the battle doing a man’s fighting work. I don’t care if she does have a cool chain mail dress and outfit! That feminist twist was really disappointing. In the movie, Peter and Caspian are at odds with one another, fighting each for his own standing, position and honor. Peter does not support Caspian, but fights against him. He is not acting in a supporting role, as Aslan intended, but as an antagonist. In the movie, the Narnians come out of hiding, but in small number. They do not seem to rise with the expected amount of enthusiasm and support for Aslan and Narnia. The overall tone of the movie is this: The children are heroes, they came at the call of a Narnian to do there own thing to help Narnia, the weakness of the children costs lives but is never really results in growth of character, Aslan saves the day at the end.

In Lewis’ book, the story revolves around a faith battle. It revolves around the work of Aslan in the lives of the characters. The central theme is that of faith. When you take a story and remove the foundation, there is nothing that can happen beyond the crumbling of the rest of the story. When the producer of the film wrote his story, it was not the story of Prince Caspian as Lewis wrote it. He removed the key element of faith. With the change in the characters, the change in worldview and the lack of faith, the aspects of Lewis’ story that do remain cannot be fully understood. You do have to give the producer credit for writing a well paced action movie. What he did not do was make a movie with correct worldview. He did not make a Christian film. When non-christian directors take control of a film like this, we can expect little more than that the faith missing in the director will also be missing in the film. It is sad, but we should not be surprised. Since when did ripe fruit fall from a rotten tree?

So. Now I can tell you. I didn’t really like it. It was well done aesthetically. But when it comes to the meat, it was definitely lacking. It was GREAT for one thing: brain exercise! It took me a bit to get all my thoughts together regarding this film. Film is a media that can be incredibly dangerous. Bad worldview like this can be put in a pretty (or gory) wrapping and planted in our minds without our knowing it. Unless we are trained to LOOK for the flaws, and then take the time to actually do it, it can be damaging. Movies like this are great for analyzing! Daddy asks us why we have to pick movies apart. This is why. Once I was shown how much is “hidden” in films, I couldn’t sit there anymore knowing that bad stuff was being pumped into my head. I had to look for it. I wasn’t about to be left off my guard. In our culture, film is a media that is used for entertainment. The people producing the films are not stupid. They KNOW that the perversion and sin that is planted in the films is infiltrating the minds of the culture. It is not by accident. We cannot fall prey to the cultural mindset that movies are for fun. Okay, some are. This one is a kind of fun non-Christian action movie. But they have to be analyzed. If we accept them as just fun, we will be falling prey to what the world wants. As believers, as followers of Christ who are sent out to make a difference, we can’t do that. We are called to more. We are being held “accountable”. (don’t you just love the responsibility that comes with following Christ?!)

I've been thinking again...

2008-10-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

...about women in political leadership. (and talking to my genius of a big brother!)

It is true, I cannot find a place in scripture where the subject of women in political leadership is addressed.

However, based on my understanding of scripture, there is a clear role for women. Under their fathers, under their husbands, in service/assitant/helper positions. The women in scripture who lead over men, were part of God's work on a cursed nation. There are women in the church who hold servant positions, a sort of deaconess if you will. (the role of deacon and elder are different - elders lead and teach, deacons serve) So, I've been thinking about that.

If there is no scripture that addresses women in political leadership, and there IS a clear role for women, then by default, that role does not include political leadership.

So I guess you could say I'm changing my tune. I guess you could say I didn't finish thinking this through before. The above conclusion seems simple...now :)

Sarah Palin: my thoughts in a nutshell

2008-10-09T00:43:00.000-07:00

I think she is an ambitious woman with many commendable views.

I cannot find a place in scripture where women in political leadership is addressed. There are certainly women leaders in the Bible, many of them as part of a process to rescue a cursed nation where no men could be found. (I wouldn't go beyond saying that our nation qualifies as that :) )

According to scripture, there are roles for women to serve, even sometimes lead, but that does not include Palin. She is a wife and mother. Scripture DOES make it clear that as a wife and mother, her role is to be supporting her husband, promoting his agenda, caring for her family. She has forsaken that role in order to promote another man and his agenda. I hate to think of the turmoil in her family. I do not think that it is wrong for all women to be in politics, (this is sticky ground. Another essay? No, I need to quit writing!) but I think that Palin is outside her God-given role.

(side note: I find it interesting that in our culture today, we give high honor to people like Condoleezza Rice and Sarah Palin, for their undying commitment to the men they support. The have given their lives to their efforts. Yet at the same time, we fail to recognize or honor the wives who have done this very thing, this most honorable thing, for their husbands! It bothers me!!!)

Enough said. That's a tiny nutshell, but hopefully clues you in to what I think on that issue :)

In which I counter the Lesser-of-two-evils argument

2008-10-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

It's October 2008. The next presidential election is just around the corner, and the question has arisen again, “Why not vote for the lesser of two evils?” In a country founded upon Christian principles, by godly men, it is shameful that this question has arisen. The question has only one clear answer, that is that we cannot vote for the lesser of two evils. In a society where the Christians are the majority voting population, we have a tremendous voice if we would only raise it. A vote for the lesser evil is commonly accepted as the best course, but it is nonetheless, a vote for evil. God appoints rulers in every nation, so we should have confidence in the fact that we can vote with integrity, and leave the results to Sovereign God. As citizens who have the hard earned privilege of voting, we bear a great responsibility in exercising this privilege. By failing to stand up and raise our voice in support of the best and most qualified candidates, we are either condoning the actions of the lesser party, or effectively voiding the importance of standing for integrity and freedom.

Many who hold to the view that says “Vote for the lesser of two evils” base their decision on the assumption that their vote towards a third party candidate would be null. Essentially casting a vote towards the greater of the evils. This assumption may be grounded in the current situation, but there is a factor that has yet to be considered. Based on study done by the Barna research group, it was shown that Evangelical Christians and non-Evangelical Born-Again Christians make up 64% of the voting population. Clearly, the majority vote. If each member of the group would have the courage to vote for the best candidate, I daresay those candidates would have more than a fighting chance. Failure by each member to vote for and uphold the party candidate who best represents their views, is a guarantee that they will be overrun. One voice will not be heard, and will not sway the vote. When Christians, as a whole, recognize the potential they have to change the face of the presidential elections, the majority vote will change. We cannot hold to the idea that there are too few of us to make a difference. This very idea has led to the constraint we currently see, as we sit comfortably within the status quo of two majority parties.

A vote for the lesser-of-two-evils is still a vote for evil. It is political compromise to the two party status-quo. Politicians who receive the lesser-evil votes should not surprise us when they fail to perform according to our values and principles. After all, they do not hold these values and principles for themselves. The Republican party has long assumed that conservative voters have nowhere else to turn, and that they are pragmatic enough to not “waste their vote” by voting for a third party. At large, they have been correct. The principles held by the voter begin to corrode as pragmatism takes root and replaces idealism. Each progressive voting cycle delivers less than optimal results, and becomes easier than the one before. This suboptimal result is not a better solution. Reform is the solution, and in order for this to take place, we cannot allow our standards for leaders to fall slack. Edmund Burke paraphrased this nicely, “But his [the candidate's] unbiased opinion, his mature judgment, his enlightened conscience, he ought not to sacrifice to you, to any man, or to any set of men living. These he does not derive from your pleasure; no, nor from the law and the constitution. They are a trust from Providence, for the abuse of which he is deeply answerable. Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment; and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.” We must be voters of integrity, and as voters of integrity, we must vote for candidates who possess the same qualities.

We, the people of the United States, have the right to vote. We have the privilege of being able to vote. This privilege is one that has been earned by hundreds of men, with hundreds of lives, over decades of time. It not one to take lightly, and carries with it a tremendous responsibility. This responsibility demands our personal attention, and scrutiny of our own ideas and sentiments. This scrutiny may reveal that voting for candidates who lack integrity and biblical character is one thing not required of a responsible citizen. There are many responsibilities that we do possess, among these are our duty to God, to our conscience, our family, our fellow citizens, and so on. It becomes evident that our privilege bears tremendous weight. When virtually no public official is in office because we the voters have embraced his clear principles and trustworthy positions, we get a government that is easily corrupted. It is our duty as citizens to reconsider the wisdom of how we vote, so that it may be done with the utmost integrity.

As the leaders of generations, there is another thing to consider. We must look beyond the next four years when we consider our presidential leaders and the effect they will have on our nation. It is not good enough to decide that we can merely “live with” a candidate for four years. This attitude is one that is content to remain in the present state, or continue in backsliding patterns of injustice rather than embracing the change and cost necessary to recover the backbone of our nation. We must realize that the decisions, laws, wars and principles set by our current leaders affect more than ourselves. Future generations will feel the impact of what happens now. It should be our aim to appoint leaders of character who will uphold the essential principles of government, based on our country's founding constitution. We should strive to return this nation to it's original roots and foundation as a representatve republic.

When we fail to stand up and raise our voice in support of the best and most qualified candidates, there are two possible results: we are either condoning the actions of the less qualified party, or minimizing the importance of standing for integrity and freedom. Neither result is a good one. Instead of standing against the evil, we are capitulating to it as long as it is a slower evil. As John Adams so aptly stated, we must “Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.” To vote for lesser evil leaders, seems to send a message to our men of integrity that is not necessary for them to offer themselves as candidates. The role of our government is to secure “certain unalienable rights, among them are the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” It is impossible for this to be achieved when we vote for candidates who are openly committed to unsettling these rights. James Madison explains that “There are more instances of abridgment of freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachment by those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.” How can we possibly rest in the knowledge that we are voting for leaders who have a history of gradual and harmful encroachment on our freedoms? We must be willing to to make the difficult choice to stand, alone if necessary, for leaders of integrity. Our vote will not be lost, rather it will be honest stand for our commitment to see good, strong, godly leaders return to our government.

In a world of human imperfection, there is yet another aspect to be considered. That is that God is the one who ultimately puts rulers in power. As citizens, we are commanded to appoint “Able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness.” We are called to be faithful in the voting process that appoints these men. The results are left up to God. He assures us that He is the one who puts rulers in power, including wicked rulers as judgment when His people disobey. In Proverbs we are told that “The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.” A hands off non-voting approach is not the right response to this, as we have been called to action. We should feel no guilt in casting a vote for the best candidate. In the Lord's sovereignty, He is able to overcome all probability and appoint whom He wills. Whether it means the sudden death of all but one suitable candidate, the rising of a majority vote for a minority candidate, or leadership by a wicked ruler, we must trust that God will direct those placed in power.

In a country where we maintain a degree of freedom and the privilege to vote, we must consider more than mathematical probability when we cast the ballot this coming November. There are enough voices, enough votes being cast, that we could drastically sway even the mathematics behind the election process if we are willing to each stand for our true convictions. Banded together, the minority will expand to the majority it ought to be. A vote for evil is not a vote for the best candidate, rather it is compromise, and must be left behind to stand for what is best. Abdicating the privilege to vote should not be considered an option, but should drive us to honorably accept the responsibility that has accompanied it. We must look beyond the present, and consider the long term affect of our actions, realizing that only defense and support of the best candidates is worth our effort. God will appoint the president of this election. We are called to stand in support of the presidential candidate whom best fits our understanding of the role he is to fill. This privilege is ours to claim.

If I had a blog...

2008-10-07T11:23:00.001-07:00

...I’d post this on it. But since I don’t, oh wait, now I do! So now that I have a blog, you can read what I put on it :)

Have you ever gone through a series of a few days where you seem to just be sort of on overload? You get asked all sorts of big questions, some questions that you only share with your closest friends, some questions you want to ask the whole world, and some questions that are just plain big questions? And then you discover (or maybe just hear it for the 100th time and finally get it) all this cool theological and philosophical stuff? And then you hear some opposing views that make you mad? And life is so busy that this all fits into your spare time? (wait, where did that come from? Oh yeah, that 6.25 hours of required sleep every night...!) And then you’re so busy thinking about this cool stuff that it takes up more of your spare time (read above to find out where I got it!) Well that’d be me. So, since I seem to be suffering an incredible amount of brain work, sleeplessness, sudden understanding, excitement, and general thoughtfulness, I wanted to share a teeny bit of it with you all...

Some cool questions:
~Do I consistently turn to the Source of Truth for answer to my questions?
~Is my quest for wisdom and knowledge self-oriented, people-oriented, or God-oriented?
~What does my outlook on life reveal about God?
~Do heartfelt remorse and repentance figure significantly in my view of myself and my relationship with God?
~Am I aware of the subtle ways in which I deny what I already know about God?
~Do I live my life in the light of God’s infinity and eternity, or am I unduly impressed with human concepts of greatness?
~Am I humble enough to see the speck of selfish ambition in my own eye?

Some philosophical fun stuff:
~What does it mean to exist?
~What is thinking?
~What is reason?
~What is logic?
~What is knowledge?
~If I know something, how can I know that what I know is really real?

Some down to earth real questions:
Like...real questions about me...and my character...and my heart attitudes...so maybe I’ll not share them...since everybody in the world can read this...and I'm not humble enough to bare my heart to the world...

Some cool quotes and philosophical concepts:
~To look at morality is to look at what “is”. To look at ethics is to look at what “ought(to be).”
~Truth is communicated, as Tolstoy says, from one soul to another, just as an endless number of candles are lighted from one. That light need only burn, and the darkness will melt like wax before the fire.
~“You are a king then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You are right in saying I am a king. IN fact, for this reason I was born, and for this reason I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.” “What is truth?” Pilate asked. John 18:37-38
~Your worldview is determined by your belief about three things. Veritology, anthropology and theology. The questions concerning what is truth, who/what is man, and who/what is God.
~To obey to believe, and to believe is to obey.
~Philospohy – as defined by Webster’s 1828 – “The objects of philosophy are to ascertain facts or truth, and the causes of things or their phenomona; to enlarge our views or God and his works...
~True religion and true philosophy must ultimately arrive at the same principle.
~Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.
~There was a man who built the first postmodern building. He made stair cases that led to nowhere, and pillars that held nothing. He said if there is no purpose and meaning to life, then why should there be purpose and meaning to his architecture? He simply built randomness. R.C. Sproul saw the structure and asked the man if he applied the same concept to the foundation. Interestingly enough, he did not. No matter how far out there we go, we still ultimately build our beliefs on a foundation.
~We are living in the most anti-intellectual period in history, but you cannot bypass the human mind in order to renew and change the heart.
~A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have.

Some things from the opposing worldview that make me feel like...not being very kind:
Carl Sagan – humanist of the year, 1981
“The cosmos is all that is, or ever was, or ever will be.” He’s way off track...
“We’re made of star-stuff.” What an eloquent to say we’re made of dirt.

There are absolutely no absolutes.