Friday, May 8, 2009

In Which I Complete My Thoughts of 3 Weeks Ago...

"When my life purpose is truly to glorify God, then He can bring blessings, trials, people, etc. all through my life and I can continue on just as before. When my purpose is to glorify Him, and I trust in His work, I can be content that where He has me is the place most glorifying to Him."

That quote would be an accurate summation of some of my recent thoughts. I says thoughts plural, due to the fact that they have been many and varied, yet I have come to the conclusion that they all fit together to form a single, complete, and sobering thought. Namely, the one given above.

Perhaps you are curious as to what these thoughts must have been? They include some of the following: “I am discontent with where I am in life.” “Life's purpose is to glorify God.” “God is God. I ought to stop trying to be.” “When our focus is on glorifying God, we can be content with any challenge God brings our way.” I think you will now have to agree with me that they are varied. Let me try to explain how these things work together.

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I find a disturbing but nonetheless frequent trend of discontentment with my present circumstances. It is not rising primarily from a great dislike for where I am, or what I am doing, but rather an attitude that looks too far and too eagerly forward in life. I find my focus turned to myself or fulfillment of myself through serving others. By default, when the focus is turned to myself it is not where it rightly belongs: on God. This direction of focus is not only wrong but it denies my purpose in life: to glorify God. This purpose requires an increase of trust as I die to myself, and let God be God! The result of this change of purpose is truly freeing, and worth every bit of the sacrifice.

Paul exhorts us in 1 Timothy 6:6-8 “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content.” My selfish desires can leave me feeling as if I am lacking, as if there is yet more to be desired. But Paul encourages me to be content with the food and clothes. I tend to think that the bare necessities ought to include far more. I read in Philippians 4:11-13, “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Paul takes no easy way around the issue here, and clearly states that we are called to be content in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. With whatever provisions we have. I find it fascinating that directly following his exhortation, Paul reaffirms his own weakness and struggle in this very area by stating that it is Christ who gives him the strength! As weak as I am, I can easily understand from where his necessity for reliance comes.

Contrary to Paul's exhortation I find myself often thinking that there must be something waiting for me in the future, something that has yet to happen, something that I am missing. At times I have even found myself coveting what another who has gone before me, has gained. It seems as if my present circumstances are not good enough for what I desire. Galatians 6:8 carries a stern warning, “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” A second warning comes from Solomon, a man who lived life to the fullest in terms of material possession and physical desire. He fulfilled his desire to the utmost, and yet at the end had only this to say, in Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” He is right. There is no fulfillment in following my own selfish desire, only despair and death. It is easy for me to see how my focus turns to myself. I have found that I sometimes even justify my actions by masking it with actions that serve others. Behind the mask of service, is a root of pride seeking fulfillment by my deeds. All of this focus, however, is misplaced. It rightly belongs on God. Galatians 5:16 tells us “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets our desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.” Herein lies the challenge: when the focus rests on myself, it is in opposition to God. When it is on God, it is against me and I do not do the things I please.

The need to turn the focus back to God rests on an understanding of life's purpose: to glorify God. When He created me it was not out of a need. There is no way that He depends on me or that He relies on me. I am here to glorify Him. I see it in Isaiah 43:7 “Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for my glory, whom I have formed, even whom I have made.” And again in 1 Peter 4:11 “Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God my be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever, Amen.” These verses do not leave room for my selfish ambitions, nor do they allow me to take the glory. Understanding my purpose gives me a direction to channel my efforts, and a reason to continue on when things go wrong and bring me no recognition, or even failure. My efforts, even when difficult or requiring great sacrifice, become worthwhile for the knowledge that they are not for me. I read in Philippians 3:7 “But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.”

This purpose in life is a blessing, but presents a whole new challenge: how to bring about death to self. In a pursuit to glorify God, I cannot also glorify myself. The pride within me that seeks recognition, gratitude, success, material goods, must be buried. I must learn to let go of that which drives me, that which give me self-satisfaction, that which brings me self-confidence. To let go of all this leaves me in a vulnerable position and according to the world, weak. I find that I must always have something in which to place my trust, and when I have removed myself from that position, God is ready, able and willing to fill it. Philippians 4:19-20 “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in in Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” The ironic thing about this is that any trust I place in myself is worthless...trust cannot be based on wavering inconsistent sin. Trust can really, truly, only be placed in God. He alone is never changing and worthy of my trust. Galatians 2:20 tells about this change of trust, “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” The most challenging part of this transition is to completely let go. I find it easy to trust God for some things, and rely on myself for the rest. But this cannot be. I have to let God be God, and do what He alone can do. I love Isaiah 64:4 “For from says of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, nor has eye seen a God besides You, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.” Truly, this is so.

When I allow God to humble my pride, when I surrender my needs, when I turn my focus upward and allow myself to stay in the resulting vulnerable hard place, there comes a drastic heart change that is called trust. When I turn the focus away from myself, it is free to then be turned towards God. When I seek to glorify God, I will not glorify myself, and He will be glorified. The vulnerability that comes with trust is the greatest advantage to me. It allows me to be anywhere that God chooses to lead me even though it be outside my comfort zone, thoughts and desires, and my plan. It allows me to be WHEREVER God leads me. When I know that God is leading, I can go forward without fear or apprehension because nowhere can I be beyond His care and guidance. When my focus is on God and I have left behind my will, I can then be stretched, challenged, even hurt, but still continue on in the power that is so much greater than my own. Philippians 4:6-7 is beautifully reassuring, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Perhaps in all of that, you can see how the many thoughts do indeed tie together. I have such a difficult time getting my thoughts onto paper, so I understand if you cannot follow what I have said. I hope and pray that it is of some encouragement to you, that perhaps you have been challenged or lifted up.

1 comments:

Anna @ Feminine Adventures said...

I hopped over here from the Covington's blog and just read your post. It was very encouraging. Thank you!

 
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