WHO - am I? Am I who I say I am? Am I even who I think I am? A friend challenged me once, saying that integrity is being the same on the inside as on the outside. It bothers me that I lack integrity. If I am to be the same in my heart and my life I sure don't want people seeing some of what's inside me, which means I need a heart change.
WHAT - do I believe? Not because somebody told me so, not because I think it's a good idea, not because it makes logical sense, but what do I really hold dear in my heart as TRUTH? What do I know to be truth from God's word, from His evidence in all of life and creation?
WHEN - do I move on? Or do I at all? To be content in all circumstances, WOW! What a goal. I don't want to rush through this stage of my life. I don't want to miss what God is showing me and teaching me now.
WHERE - is God guiding my life? How will I know? There are goals that I have, selfish goals for my own gain. I don't want to pursue them because they are centered around self. But how do I know what God's goal is for my life? How hard it is to die to my own wants and sacrifice to let HIM do His work! But in all honesty, there is nothing more satisfying than knowing that my life glorifies Him!
WHY - do I do the things I do? In light of eternity, what does it even matter? Why, when I know that there are things in my life that matter only to me and even sometimes hurt others do I continue on? It is my prayer that God remove this from me, remove this desire from me, and give me a heart fully bound to Him!
HOW - do I use my life to greater glorify God? Where can I sacrifice, and give, and serve to HIS glory? Not for my own, but for Him. My purpose in life is to glorify God, but I miss the mark SOOO often. How can I change so that my life IS spent bringing glory to my God and King?
Psalm 139
O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night," Even the darkness is not dark to You, And the night is as bright as the day Darkness and light are alike to You. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.
O that You would slay the wicked, O God; Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed. For they speak against You wickedly, And Your enemies take Your name in vain. Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against You? I hate them with the utmost hatred; They have become my enemies. Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.
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